How can you empower your child in the college application process?
As your child embarks on the stressful college admissions process, you and many other parents may feel just as lost and anxiety-ridden as the applicant. Watching your loved ones jump through so many seemingly insurmountable hurdles and face so many uncertainties and potential disappointments can render you feeling helpless. Fortunately, there are many proactive steps you can take to make the university admissions process more manageable and even fun for you and your child.
1. Set Goals and Expectations Together
Many students are overwhelmed by the admissions process because they are afraid of disappointing their parents. Parents and students should work closely together to set their college goals and expectations. While parents usually have good intentions, they should not impose their preferences on their child. Beyond rankings, pay attention to other factors such as program offerings, location, post-graduation outcomes and other relevant elements to find the best fit for your child. When push comes to shove, parents should defer to their child when it comes to deciding on schools and majors. After all, your child is the one going to college.
2. Become an Empathetic Listener
Parents often instinctively offer suggestions when their children are facing challenges. Instead of offering unsolicited advice, try to come a more active and empathetic listener. You should suppress your urge to make snap judgements and offer solutions. Instead, you should strive to put yourself in the shoes of your children and listen to their problem intently. In many cases, your children are just looking for a good listener, rather than a troubleshooter. Rather than doling out advice, you should consider offering encouragement instead. If you are constantly fixing your children’s problems, they will never be able to overcome their own challenges when they are on their own in college.
3. Remind and Reaffirm
The college application process is riddled with an ostensibly endless barrage of deadlines. There are different registration deadlines for different standardized examinations. To make matters even more confusing, there are different application submission deadlines for different schools. Collaborate with your child to search and record all the various deadlines on an easily accessible document and send him or her a friendly reminder before a major deadline is about to approach. Beyond reminders, you should also send out reaffirmations. When your child is overwhelmed, reaffirm your love and concern. Many students mistakenly connect their self-worth with their academic performance. If your child doesn’t know that your love is unconditional, make sure you tell him or her directly and frequently.
As your child faces the inevitable challenges and attendant stress associated with the college admission process, you must realize that you have an essential role to play. By assuming the role of a confidant and cheerleader, the college application process can serve as a powerful medium to strengthen and deepen your relationship with your child.
